This post does contain a NSFW image you have been warned. Oh and I’ve had a hard cider or two…so this post may make no sense.
A few weeks ago I was giving the girls their monthly exam. And ladies I cannot stress this enough but….feel your boobies. It could just save your life. Seriously. I check the girls after every visit from my ahem “Aunt”. I’ve been a fanatical checker once I had something to check.
Right so I was doing the usual check when I found something. I didn’t freak out because freaking out gets you thinking you have the “C” word and next thing you know…. Well, you find yourself in the corning rocking in the fetal position, sucking on your thumb. Instead I cracked jokes and forgot to call my ob for a week. As you can see I was super worried here. But I finally got to the doctor and like I thought I was sent off for a mammogram.
That took place today. I will admit to being nervous. But it wasn’t because I thought they’d find something bad. No, I was nervous because I knew this was going to be uncomfortable. I for one am not at all well endowed in the “girls” department. So when the big squeeze happens boy do I feel it! As I thought the tech came back in telling me I was normal. I tell you I laughed right out loud there for a moment. She looked confused…I win!
So what do my “girls” have to do with Amanda Palmer? Well, we both have ’em for one. Duh! But that’s really about it. However, her “girls” well her “girl” recently made news in The Daily Mail. There was an “incident” where one of them broke free during a show.
Yup that there is a bit of boob and some nipple. Which caused quite the OMG heard around the world. I have to say really? It’s a little bit of boob and some nipple. What’s the big deal. I’m pretty sure Ms. Palmer was rocking out and bam! Escape happens people. That’s what boobs do! Plus forget all the times Amanda Palmer has intentionally showed her ladies to fans and non fans alike. To my knowledge no one freaked out then…so why the big freak out now? Probably because there was nothing better to write about that day….”sigh”.
I mean seriously today I accidentally flashed my girls to two people in the waiting room…those gowns DO NOT tie right EVER! When I noticed I apologized to the two women I flashed. Did they care? Nope. The response was happened to me too. Sure I only flashed two people compared to the loads that Ms. Palmer flashed. But to her fans it was no big deal. So why should it be to anyone else? Well, it shouldn’t. End sort of rant.
I will tell you that everything did turn out to be non cancerous. YAY! However, there are six fibroids in there that have got to go! Plus the cyst taking up half my left little lady. Yep I think it’s time you lot cleared out. I mean sure they’ve been with me since 2011 (at least), it’s been fun, but time to move a long now. Buh-bye!
Oh and speaking of Amanda Palmer, my super cool AFP Pen Friend sent me some sweet swag from the AFP London show for my birthday!!
Seriously… Best. Gift. Ever. How I will top this I do not know. But I will find a way!! I promise. That’s all I have for this rain soaked Monday. Perhaps I shall tell you stories of my Sunday spent at the race track tomorrow. Complete with embarrassing photos of me and the sister.