The wonders of pregnancy most pregnancy sites WON’T really tell you about

Pregnancy is a wonderful time in a woman’s life or so every website devoted to the subject will tell you. Don’t get me wrong I am loving every minute of it. But none of them really tell you the down right nasty things that happen to your body during this beautiful time. Well, nows the time to look away because I’m going to lay a few of my “favorites” down for you.

Hormones – They will go crazy. They will make you feel like you are losing your mind. Hell, they will make your husband, partner, family, friend, etc. NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE. One minute you are you and the next you should change your name to The Hulk and smash all the things. Ten seconds later you’ll be crying over a song from The Hobbit or an iPad commercial. They also mess with just about everything in your body and I do mean everything. I swear anytime I’ve looked up something new that’s sprung up in my pregnancy hormones seem to be the root cause. Though of course all of what they’re doing is also great because they’re also helping to grow that little person you get to see, hold, and love in just a few short months! (Hold on I need a tissue – thanks hormones!)

Moving on to my top four things about pregnancy that make me…uncomfortable. Sure there are others, and hey seeing as this is my blog I can freak you out some more another time.

Congestion – Most of the sites will tell you it’s natural to feel a little stuffy due to hormonal changes during pregnancy. Some of them even say it should only last a few weeks. LIES! I have been congested for well over TEN weeks at this point. Sure sometimes I get to sneeze (which is also rather nasty…I mean where is all that snot getting stored?) But honestly I feel like I’ve been on the verge of a cold for the last 3-4 months and frankly it sucks!

Nose Bleeds – Again totally normal, but also gross and a huge pain in the arse. It happens again due to your fantastic hormones messing about in your body. They naturally suck because you never know when they might happen. Heck I think I’ve had at least one a month, sometimes two if I’m really lucky. Just gross, please go away, thank you.

Gas – Both of the burping and farting variety. Sure I’ve burped or farted before I was pregnant but not like this. I feel like the most unladylike person on the planet. Worse thing is one never knows when it’s going to strike and you can only hope that you are in private when one of them does strike. But honestly it’s more likely that it’ll happen when you’re sitting in a meeting with your boss or out to dinner in a crowded eatery with your spouse. Oh and no the burps and farts and in NO way silent anymore or easy to cover up. NOPE you’d swear someone had a mic to your mouth or you butt…yup “good” times.

Hemorrhoids – This one might be a little gross, if you made it this ar you really might want to stop reading now. Possibly my least favorite “sign” of pregnancy. I’ll let you look up what these little joys are on your own. But what I will tell you is it feels like you are sitting on 2-4 marbles at any given time. Yeah that’s fun and super not comfy. BUT bless whoever makes the ointment to treat these bad boys…ah sweet, sweet relief!

Seriously thought pregnancy is pretty awesome (see the next post), these are just some of the “perks” of the job. Also I should mention that not everyone will have this fun and joy that I’ve been experiencing. But I had to share. Sorry not sorry.

Author: galinthegreyhat

I am a wife, writer, photographer, and avid reader. This blog is about me...you've been warned.