I’ve been meaning to blog this week. But it seems I’ve contracted some weird mix of cold/flu. I won’t go into the graphic details. It is really gross people. But know this, I pretty much want to crawl into a hole and die. That is how gross I feel.
I will also share this with you (consider it my personal PSA)…it started as what I thought was allergies. This is also what my minions at work said they had through stuffy noses and coughing. What this turned out to be is a strange cold/flu thing that keeps you from going to work, getting out of bed, and going to play DnD. That’s right I play and it’s fun.
But seeing as I didn’t want to pass my germs on to anyone I chose to be responsible. Which meant staying home with the kitties. While at home I watched a whole lot of Bones and ate one gluten free pizza and some other assorted goodies. Not that I should have had anything, but I was hungry and it was the easiest thing to make.
Now here I sit Saturday night still feeling like death, but forcing myself to write something. I do take comfort in knowing I’m not the only blogger feeling like le death this evening. In fact this blogger lives (I’m guessing) not far from me in real life. But we’ve never met in real life. Anyway her blog is called Lucy’s Football she is very funny (read it), you can read her post on the subject of her illness here.
To not end this on a yuck note I give you a cat picture or two.
Georgia is a good kitty when mommy is sick.Cat in a tub…THAT is funny stuff. Well, the look on his face amuses me…Sleepy Allie, little ball of claws…
Once again my weekend has gone by in a flash. I don’t really have a lot to show for it. Aside from the beautiful fallopian tubes, tea tasting, and seeing Iron Man 3 Friday night. Saturday I finally mailed out some pen pal letters – sorry for the delay there people. Oh I also got LOST in the town I live in, thank a lot iPhone maps. Yeah I’ve since downloaded Google Maps. Because having a panic attack downtown in public is so not good times.
In fact I was still shaking when I got home. I’m pretty sure this freaked out our middle cat, Allie, who hasn’t left me along since I walked in the door Saturday. She’s a good kitty even if the rest of the time she’s trying to kill me. She’s one of those I’m-going-to-flop-right-in-front-of-you-in-the-dark cats. Oh and I also made amazing brownies yesterday.
Yeah that totally happened!
I wasn’t sure about mixing the chili chocolate with the gluten free brownie mix. I mean the whole gluten free thing is what worried me. Plus I did not want to screw up a baking experiment with good chocolate. Let’s be real here, good chocolate is a horrible thing to waste.
But folks on Twitter and Facebook assured me it should turn out awesome. What do you know they were right! The only problem I had, was that I didn’t use enough chocolate in the batter. Not to worry I have a plan to bake some chocolate chili cupcakes tonight!
Now my mouth is watering, awesome. Did I mention I just ate too? Yeah the oddest tea/food pairing combo to date…shrimp mei fun and a cup of decaf chai tea. Don’t judge that stuff was awesome. Also that tea has a whole lot of cinnamon going on in it. Which makes me think it would be great iced with a little touch of liquid gold. Let’s be clear I’m not talking this:
Seriously those commercials are a little asinine. Which I guess was the point. Right, I’m talking about Goldschläger! Fun fact, I’ve googled this enough that when I type in gol, it happens to come up first in any and all Google searches. Anyway, I think it would taste pretty yummy in this tea. Of course I could be horribly mistaken. But I’m willing to give it a go.
So once again Sunday is here and I didn’t do nearly enough book work. Part of that is due to the fact that I have no idea where the hell all my Harry Potter DVD’s are! I’ve looked through all the movie bins/boxes and nothing. Movies 1-4 are missing! I don’t have the others yet. But why do I need them? Well, I might be basing the mannerisms of my main dude off of one of the Marauders, might so I need the movie to remind me of them. BUT I have no idea where they are. I sure hope they’re here in the house because I really don’t want to purchase them again.
Oddly enough I think I just remembered where they are…my mother has them. Let’s just give her a call to be sure. Yep Mom is pretty sure she has them and also that I’m weirder than ever. I see it as a win win. Whatever. This still doesn’t help me as she’s 45 minutes away and I don’t drive. But at least I know they’re safe.
I guess I’ll just try to muddle through without them. Meanwhile enjoy this photo of a bunnies butt as it hopped through our yard and into the neighbors.
Oh and the sock sucker thing? That has to do with a certain Ty (aka Tyrion Laniscat) who somehow finds my husbands clean socks and carries them throughout the house while trying to meow. I’ve caught him at it twice this weekend. But I have NO idea where he’s getting the socks from! Ah the mystery of cat ownership servitude.
Today was my well needed and well deserved day off. It was also procedure day. My fantastic hubbins took me to the appointment and let me tell you this was the first time I was taken in right away. But that’s because I was on the “surgical side of the house”. This was good as I had places I wanted to be. Like not there.
In I went and everything that was going to happen during this procedure was explained to me in DETAIL. I did not need the graphic picture painted. It was moderately painful. But nothing worse than one might expect on the worst day of their “friends” visit. The ladies know what I’m talking about here.
And apparently I have beautiful fallopian tubes. Good to know, wonder if I can put that one on my resume? Hands down that has to be the weirdest thing anyone has ever said to me. Yet it made me fell pretty good. I’m weird we’ve covered this numerous times.
After the scan came the ultrasound which involved more dye and a little more discomfort and not so great news. It looks as though there might be some scaring on my uterus. Seriously?? Yes, which means another more invasive (go to hospital, take a sleepy time cocktail and wake-up in recovery) procedure. This one will allow them to really see what the problem is. Odds are what he saw is scar tissue. If it’s there when they go in, they remove it. Good times.
But the good news is there is something they can do about it. Bad news is more time off from work and more discomfort. The rest of the weekend I will FINALLY be working on a new story idea. However, tonight I’m off to dinner and tea tasting with friends. To end this on an awesome note I’ll leave you with some pictures of my cats. Happy weekend!
Allie striking her usual pose of pissed off.…and Georgia being scared of life.
As I write this I can hear the sound of flesh being torn from limbs…which means my husband is watching The Walking Dead. Well, I HOPE that’s what’s going on. If not this might be the shortest post ever…
Nope it is the TV, I can hear the theme music. Crisis averted (Fact for some reason I thought that word was spelled overted – see what happens when I try to get fancy? That’s right I need to use google when the red line of WRONG shows up.). So we’re not going to die in a freak zombie apocalypse. Which is awesome because I have a three day weekend!
The only not awesome part about this whole weekend happens tomorrow around 1pm. I’m going in for some crazy Ultrasound/X-ray thing where in a balloon and then a little while later dye are shot into lady town and photographed. Please note this was the cliff note version of the procedure. The office claims it isn’t as painful as when other places do this. Right so I’m taking the 4 Advil for shits and giggles right?
I’m going to guess no…I’m taking it because this will be unpleasant. Well, it had better not keep me from my dinner out later in the evening. Anyway, they do this test to check to make sure there are no abnormalities, growths, etc within lady town. Obviously I’m hoping to get out of there in a timely fashion and with a clear bill of health. We shall see.
Other than that I and dinner I have a whole lot of relaxing, writing, and laundry (so much laundry) to do this weekend. I really could not be happier. Well, if someone else did the laundry I’d be thrilled. But we can’t always get what we want.
I’m also up way past my bedtime. So I should probably go do that. But first a picture of a cat.
This was taken this morning. He was waiting for his cheese coated thyroid meds.
I bit the bullet today and bought the premium bundle from WordPress. I’d been wanting to do this for some time and after talking to our web developer at work I figured it was now or never. So let me know if the comments what you think of the new color and other things. I’ll be looking at ways to tweak the new home as I develop the look and feel here more. Ideally I’d love to connect with someone who would be amazing enough to work with me on the cheap to do a fun layout (css, color, etc). Pretty please?
Of course before I dropped the cash on this I asked my husband. Yes he sighed at first, but did give me his blessing. However, I’m sure this will cost me a game of Parcheesi at some point…and I have to say I am OK with that.
In other news a big thank you to all the awesome responses I got in likes here on yesterday’s post as well as comments over on the Facebook page, and Twitter messages and tweets too. You guys are really something else! Don’t ever change who you are. But you probably should change your underwear and things like that…just saying.
I’ll leave you with this Spring/Summer refresher I came up with on the fly this afternoon…I call it the Orange Blackberry Fizz (yes the name needs work).
What you’ll need:
1/2 cup of crushed ice
4 Blackberries (rinsed and cut in half)
1/2 cup Orangina (it’s a real thing)
A splash or four of cranberry juice cocktail
1 shot of Goldschlager
Throw all this in a large enough glass. Give it a stir and enjoy! It didn’t sound like my best idea at the time. But I must tell you it is pretty darn tasty.
After loss number three I felt like I was really losing it. I think something like that is only natural after you lose your third pregnancy in a year and a half. But I was concerned I was heading back into what I had thought was the dark hole of depression. Which I again thought I had back in say 2004. My wonderful family doctor suggested Lexapro or the generic I’m actually on called Escitalopram (and yes when you say it it sounds like Excitelopram…no the irony is not lost on me). But there was a condition to taking this medication. I had to go and talk to a therapist. Now I wasn’t put off by this. In fact I was glad she suggested it. Because there is still a nasty stigma associated with therapy and any type of mental illness. So I wasn’t about to go on my own. But for someone else who I trust to say it was ok? Well, then it was ok.
Of course getting an appointment was not so easy. It took two months to get in! Apparently I majored in the WRONG subject in college. But the day finally came (yesterday) and I went and she asked questions and I answered. It turns out (after an hour and 15 minutes and $25) I’m not depressed at all. Yes I’m grieving the loss of the pregnancies. But it seems I actually suffer from high anxiety and, and OCD or CDO (as it should be). The OCD bit I knew about.
I’ve got this thing about checking locks and light switches. It does not help that my husband asks me after I’ve giggled the handle 10 times if I’m sure its locked. Because it then takes ten more shakes to be sure. Sigh.
Are you sure??? (wisegeek.com)
I do this when I go to bed at night too. Even though I know full well my husband will check before he goes to bed. But that’s me. I also have this thing about the doors being open. Yes, even with the screen door closed. I have this crazy fear that someone will get in OR that someone will get in and let my cats out. I don’t get it…hence the therapy. As she thinks the anxiety/OCD is the biggest issue I have. Ok we’ll start with that and see where we go right?
BUT as we talked I realized that this anxiety and OCD thing went back to high school! And I cannot for the life of me tell you why it started or actually pinpoint an event that kicked it all off. Yet here it is. All I can tell you is that’s when I noticed I started doing odd things like checking locks and light switches repeatedly. I also noticed I did odd things when left alone. I’d sleep downstairs (only when I lived with people). I guess my thought was I’d hear someone breaking in and then I’d freak out rather than having them surprise me. I know it makes no sense what so ever…but the anxiety leads to the OCD or vice versa and I end up caught in this loop.
So now I know, good right? Yes and no. Because now I know those feelings like I’m having a mini heart attack once a week (sometimes) are called panic attacks. NO I actually did not associate them with anything, but now I know I should. So when they happen at home I can simply ride them out in private. However, when they happen at work there is not a damn thing I can do about it. Well, maybe I excuse myself to the restroom to freak out in private.
At least I found someone who believes me and wants to help me. Can I be cured, um probably not. Can it be managed better I sure as hell hope so. Now who wants to sleep over this weekend while my husband is away…as you guessed it I’ll be sleeping on the couch with my phone nearby. Good times, good times.
Just a few other things that make my OCD act up:
Where do I step?? What if I step more on one with the left foot and not that many on the right? Seriously.(mmo-champion.com)ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? (source: i.imgur.com)I fix this EVERY TIME! (source izismile.com)
Finally things that I check/redo constantly:
Locks
Light switches
That my alarm clock is set
Depending on how I stepped of the last step I might have to redo it with the other foot
I’m sure there are others, but now that I’ve freaked anyone out who read this blog I should probably stop…
One last thing. My husband had an idea this was my bigger issue. He says I worry too much. NO KIDDING. But worry is another road to anxiety which we all know leads to (say it with me) OCD! So I’m in for a long haul, but at least he’s here to help me through it and to stop asking me if I’m sure the damn door is locked!
Of course that doesn’t roll off the tongue as well as ‘She’s got Betty Davis Eyes’, but this is my blog so whatever.
Today I was actually told I have legs like Audrey Hepburn. I kid you not. There I was waiting for my order of fries and Doc Brown’s Cream Soda (don’t judge me) in a local eatery, minding my own business when…
“Excuse me.” Said the cutest granny looking lady I ever saw. No, not even my grandma is this cute. In fact my grandma is a card shark. Don’t play with her unless you want to leave the game crying. This goes for nice and easy card games like Uno people. No joke. Anyway…
Cute Granny Lady: I hope you don’t mind me saying but you have the perfect legs for ballet flats.
Me: Um, thank you. (Then I notice I AM wearing ballet flats, so not so weird after all.)
Cute Granny Lady: Really, they remind me of Audrey Hepburn. Great in a skirt or I bet even in those capri pants too!
Me: (ok this just got a little weird) Your very sweet, thank you.
Counter lady: Order 571!
Me: Bingo! (I did not actually say this out loud. But I did get my order, and thank the granny looking lady again for her compliment and told her to have a nice day.)
I bet the nice lady wouldn’t have thought my legs were very Hepburn like if she’d seen me almost go ass over tea kettle on my run to beat the rain back to work. Nope that was far from graceful. When I got back to the office I couldn’t help but think that while it was a weird comment, it was still the nicest thing someone had said to me all day. So I rode out how awesome it made me feel the rest of the day.
I even felt the need to take pictures of my legs when I got back to the office, you know like non normal people do.
On second thought…my legs do look pretty good. Good job parental genes!
Which now I think I need to buy ALL the ballet flats, skirts, and capri pants I can find. I also need to cut my hair shorter. I think I could rock Ms. Hepburn’s shorter do. However, I’m pretty sure my husband will not love that. He’d love it if my I could “cut my hair longer”. Right. Check it out…I’m pretty sure Ms. Hepburn’s hair is shorter than mine.
Maybe, and maybe not. (lasthairmodels.com)
And here’s my hair today…
Then again maybe it is too long. :p
In all seriousness many thanks to the lovely lady who gave me such a nice compliment, it really brightened my day.
Nothing else really happened today. At least I don’t think it did…
I know these marks are here for a reason…but what?
I haven’t felt much like writing this week. For obvious reasons. I was glued to social media as events unfolded Monday through Friday. Social media you might ask? Indeed, I found more truthful information there than I did via the news. Probably because there used to be over 40 news outlets, we’re now down to something like six! That my friends is pretty sad and allows for a lot of error. But that’s also my opinion and not fact. Just to clarify ya know.
Anyway, I recalled checking in on things via Twitter as I was sitting in the waiting room for appointment one. At this point the race had maybe been going on for half an hour. But then I had to turn my phone off because they have some crazy rule no phone on at all…not even vibrate. Sure ok, fine. So it wasn’t until I was sitting in the waiting room at appointment two that I found out that anything horrible had happened.
That news came to me via Amanda Palmer (of Dresden Dolls fame and famous on her own too). She lives in Boston and was tweeting what was happening in her awesome city. But not only that, she was asking her fans and everyone really to name their sources for news. Something I doubt the “real” media was doing that day. But Amanda Palmer did more than that. She connected people, calmed people, and was just there for us. Like we were for her. Example? Sure I have one. You see she’s married to author Neil Gaiman (I know talk about awesome couple right).
Well, at the time her husband was in the UK doing book related things and she couldn’t reach him because cell lines were swamped. So she took to twitter to reach out. Within an hour or so she was able to connect with him. Behold the power of social media. But she didn’t stop comforting and helping all of us out there. In fact she helped so much she hit a twitter block of sorts and was kicked for an hour before she could post again.
When I noticed she was back she was asking if anyone would be interested in two minutes of silence for the victims? The response was a resounding YES! So at 9pm we had our moment of silence for those we lost and those injured Monday. After the two minutes were up this photo below and another appeared on Twitter and Tumblr:
She was right. Even if she knows it or not SHE is one of those good people.
One of the helpers. Now I know there were other helpers that day and week. Namely the Boston PD, FBI, etc. They really are an amazing group of helpers. My hats off to them for their service this week. Truly above and beyond.
For me, hearing Palmer’s encouraging words and outpouring of love to her followers on Twitter was an amazing act of helping and love. It certainly was and is refreshing in this day and age. Thank you Amanda Palmer for helping me keep it together last week. Thank you Boston PD for not giving up. Thank you to folks who took pictures of the suspects. Thank you to those that turned back towards the danger to help the injured. Thank you all for restoring my faith in humanity a little more last week.
I’m off of work today for two reasons. I needed a break and I’d have to leave by noon anyway. I still love my job. But sometimes you need some time for you. This is that time. Also the lady crush post is totally in the works…so chill out.
Also one appointment is all about finding out why I can’t carry a pregnancy past 6.5 weeks. For those keeping score at home we’re up to three. Which also means we now need to consult a specialist. At this point in time I want to just find out if we can even have our own kids or if we should start looking for adoption agencies. Trisomy 16 was the cause of the last one (the kid had 3 of chromosome 16). Possibly the cause of all of them. So I guess I also wanted to prep myself for this visit.
Like that wasn’t enough I’m also heading to the eye doc right after. Partly to check out if my eye is healing after I scratched the crap out of my cornea. The other is to check on the sort of double vision in my left eye. When it rains it pours kids. So there may not be a post tonight as it seems to take longer and longer to get my eyes back to normal after dilating them. Good times. Even better times…I might have to have surgery again.
So you might be wondering what this “Fresh Start” I’m on about is. Well, I’ve been trying to eat better and go to the gym and all that. So I went to the gym once last week – hey it was a start. I’ve also been meaning to start making my own smoothies. I’m pretty sure the smoothies you can pay through the nose for buy at the market are great, but not as fresh as making your own.
Last night I bought a whole munch of fruits and veggies to make into yummy smoothies for myself. This morning I was throwing caution to the wind and tossed the following into my food processor: (we don’t have a proper blender yet) carton of raspberries, a few blueberries, a leaf of kale, 3 kiwis, cocoa, almond milk, and a shake or four of cinnamon. It looks pretty gross.
Yummy!
But damn was it tasty! Still is as I’m still drinking it down!
Just thought I’d post SOMETHING while I can still see…of all the things I hate most about an eye doc appointment eye dilating is numero uno! “See” you later.
Gal In The Grey Hat 